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The Shadow Trials

Last week, the party ventured bravely into the gaping maw of the shadowy tunnel that appeared before them. As soon as they entered, the maw slammed shut and they were plunged into darkness1. Undaunted, the party ventured further into the tunnel, but found only a blank wall and a large shadow dragon that shouted "I AM AZMAKALATHARIUS, THE HERITAGE KEEPER. THE WAY IS SHUT". Now partially daunted by the dragon's fearsome visage, the party decided to rest nearby for an hour. During this time, the dragon shouted "THE WAY IS SHUT" every five minutes. Maxwell tried to approach the dragon to see if there was a hidden passage behind it, but a fearsome roar convinced him to back off and return to the party.

After completing his attunement to nature2, Pabst noticed that the dragon didn't quite seem entirely real. He decided to resolve the ambiguity by throwing an axe at it. The dragon passed harmlessly through both the dragon and the wall behind it before clanking against something and prompting a protest from an unknown female voice beyond the wall. With the illusion dispelled, the party proceeded forward to see a giant planar portal and a heavily armored woman looking annoyed.

She proclaimed that the party had completed two of the four Shadow Trials, having fought their way into the tunnel and mustered the courage to defy the dragon. There were two more trails remaining: first, to recite the "True Story of Creation", and second, to perform the Ritual of Purification on the Dark Altar. Pressed for more information, she explained that the Ritual of Purification was through a smaller portal to the left, the Dark Altar was through a portal to the right. Eah portal would only allow the party through all together, not individually. The party just had to go each direction in the correct order while killing anything that got in their way, like the others had done before them. This put the party on more familiar territory.

Once things were explained, the woman introduced herself as Talia, the Guardian of the Gate. Lorelai presented the most half-hearted and summarized3 version of the Story of Creation the party could come up with3 in order to complete the third Shadow Trial. After the party clarified some of the especially ambiguous bits, Talia grudgingly accepted the story - but only because Lorelai had told the version in which the orcs were created first.

With that trial out of the way, the party walked through the portal towards the Ritual of Purification. They all appeared on the other side and were immediately surrounded by shadowy tree-like creatures that could teleport, grapple, and drain life. In the ensuing battle, Lord Khallus was severely injured. The party considered waiting for him to heal, but decided that this would take way too much time, and simply pressed on. The next room was full of shadowy crossbows on legs, shadowy bat-like creatures, and a narrow path of small platforms suspended above a shadowy abyss, leading to an ornate book on a pedestal. Before a fight could properly start, Maxwell sprinted towards the pedestal, hopped across the platforms, grabbed the book, and sprinted back. The party then stepped back through the portal without actually fighting anything.

The party victoriously returned to Talia and presented the book. She said that they had earned a reward - and that Lord Khallus, as the one most in need of aid, must choose. She would either tell the party about what lay beyond the next portal, or heal his injuries. He emphatically chose to be healed, and she seemed disappointed, but healed him anyway. The party then mucked about with time magic involving the portals for a while and got nowhere before going into the portal leading to the Dark Altar.

They found themselves in a room with five demons arranged in a pentagram, performing some sort of unholy ritual. Maxwell tried to sprint through the ritual to reach the portal on the other side of the room, but the rest of the party took a more cautious approach. This proved to be wise, as Maxwell disappeared the instant he entered the ritual area. The party then decided stop being fancy and fall back on the old strategy of "hit stuff until it stops moving", which proved largely effective. They quickly disrupted the ritual, causing Maxwell to return, but he was still seriously injured in the fight. The party went back to Talia and tried to convince her to heal him, and after persuading4 her enough, she agreed. The party then rested the night before going into the next portal.

Join us this week to perform the Ritual of Purification on the Dark Altar!

  1. And the hobgoblin cleric disappeared, but no one noticed for another two hours.
  2. Technically, this was a natural shadowy extradimensional space.
  3. This was not the worst version ever told, however. That rendition was given by Gumbol the Kobold Bard. He learned the Story of Creation by hiding in cupboards, sewers, and other convenient locations in order to mishear the story from hundreds of different storytellers. According to witnesses, when he attempted to present his life's work to a tavern too drunk to kill him on sight, he was struck by at least three different bolts of lightning by various affronted deities. Of course, some say that this simply proves that his version was true.
  4. Annoying.

Stupid Awards

Lorelai Maxwell
  • Her Dais Are Numbered
  • There's a Hole in their Ranks
  • Usain Dolt
    • Antimony Amanita
  • Healeaguered
    • Pabst Lord Khallus Everyone
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