Secret Tunnel, Secret Tunnel
Last week, the party took a well-earned rest after successfully defending the town against the hobgoblin attack. Maxwell took the morning watch, and was surprised to see two well-armed1 human warriors approaching the town from the west. He quickly decided that they were not a threat2, and the party greeted them. The warriors responded by asking where the Fish Festival was. The party was somewhat taken aback by this3, and informed them that the Fish Festival was over. Bereft of purpose in life, and intrigued by the news of Torvid, the warriors decided to stick with the party. One of the warriors introduced himself as Lord Khallus. The party gave his status appropriate deference4.
With their increased numbers, the party began interrogating their hobgoblin captive, Tagin5. He was uncooperative and insisted that Torvid would kill them all, so the party turned their attention to re-fortifying the town in case there was another attack. The other warrior, Vaunt, started to cut off the hobgoblin's tongue, but was interrupted by Pabst. Shaken, and eager to prove he was more valuable intact, the hobgoblin offered to reveal why his group had originally set out to take the town. The party quickly took him up on this offer.
Tagin revealed that his group had come to the town seeking the Book of Creation, an ancient book said to have existed since the world had been created. It was said to contain the story of how the world was created6, but had been lost for centuries. The party expressed great disbelief that such a legendary artifact would be found in such an insignificant town. To prove what he said, Tagin led the party to the largest building in town, which contained a council meeting room with a massive stone table at the center. He spoke a strange incantation, and the stone began sinking into the ground. Most of the party hopped onto the stone to follow it down. As the stone descended into the ground, it created a cylinder whose walls were covered in strange mural. The mural depicted a twisted version of the Story of Creation which claimed that orcs were the first race created, and were the true favored race of Kahl the Overdeity7. The party gave this plot revelation appropriate consideration.
After descending fifty feet into the ground, the stone stopped and revealed a hallway with three doors. Each door had writing on it. Before the party had a chance to read the writing on the doors and decide which door to open, Balrox opened the middle door. He was rewarded with a ballista bolt to the face. Somewhat oddly, the ballista was manned by what appeared to be orc ghosts. As the party prepared to rush into battle, Balrox shut the door.
With that crisis averted, the party decided to read the writing on each door. All claimed to contain the "truth of creation", but they differed on who could pass through the door safely; the door on the left said that only the devoted would survive, the door in the middle said that only the mighty would survive, and the door on the right said that none would survive. The party chose the door on the right8.
When the party opened the door on the right, the door disappeared and the doorway became a gaping hole, sucking all of the air into the hole. Maxwell tried to reach into the doorway to close the door and instantly disappeared. The rest of the party tried to escape the vortex, but were unable to escape - with the exception of Balrox had pre-emptively decided to start escaping before the door was opened. However, before they were all sucked in, they opened the door into the room with the orc ghosts, causing all of the ghosts to be sucked into the portal as well9.
After leaving the party behind, Balrox resumed searching the building with the council room and found a cache of gold. He took all the gold, left the party behind for good, started an orphanage in the capital, and more or less lived happily ever after10.
On the other side, the party found themselves floating in a strange, seemingly infinite space without gravity. As the latecomers arrived through the portal, the party was attacked by shadowy humanoid forms wielding two-dimensional blades. The party joined battle and defeated them. Once the creatures were defeated, the shadowstuff that created them coalesced and grew into a single massive draconic head. The head announced that the party was now in the Realm of Azkemaletharius, the Heritage Keeper, before transforming once again into a gate leading into a dark hallway. Undaunted, the party entered the hallway.
Show up this week to duel in the Shadow Realm!
- One of the warriors had variety of weapons on his person and full plate armor protecting him. The other warrior had a single extremely muscular arm.
- Because they looked human, and who uses the Disguise skill anyway?
- Because the Fish Festival had taken place a week and a half earlier, and also because the vast majority of its participants were dead.
- That is, of course, none at all.
- Not to be confused with the other time the party interrogated their hobgoblin captive. This guy was a total jerk.
- See the Appendix: The Story of Creation.
- Blatant racist propaganda. Everyone knows humans are the true favored race of Kahl the Overdeity.
- Not to be confused with the right door.
- Technically not all of the ghosts. Lord Khallus jumped into the air and used the energy from the vortex to powerslam a ghost into a wall, dispersing it before it could reach the portal.
Stupid Awards
Maxwell- Convenient Racism
- Human Resources
- Choking the Chicken
- Don't Kill the Messenger
- Ghostbuster
- Sissyphian Task
- I Told You So (I)
- Knowledge is Power
- Ding Dong Ditch
- Material Girl in a Material Plane
- Speak Nothing and Enter
- Take the Money and Run
- Void Is Nothing
- Change of Planes
The Story of Creation
Long ago, Kahl the Overdeity stood alone in an infinite expanse of space. After an unknowable infinity of years, he grew restless in his isolation, and his restlessness turned to anger. When he could bear the silence no more, he struck out his mighty fist in anger to smite a boulder of fathomless size. When he struck the great rock, it split into two parts and revealed a living realm of great beauty.
Intrigued, Kahl descended to the surface of the world. He saw mighty mountains, towering waterfalls, and vast verdant forests, each teeming with plants and animals and all manner of life. This pleased Kahl, and he wandered the world for eons. Yet in time, his isolation turned to anger once more, for there were no creatures worthy to inhabit the world which he had formed.
One day, as Kahl wandered the world, he saw a vast boulder. Its shape reminded him of the world, and his ancient loneliness, and he angrily stuck the boulder with his mighty fist. The stone split apart at his blow, and from the center came the proud dwarves, hardy and strong. From the flying fragments of stone came the crafty gnomes, earthbound and heaven-seeking. They worshipped Kahl, and he was pleased, and blessed them. They spread throughout the mountains and hills, and all was good for a time.
But Kahl soon grew weary of earthy simplicity of the dwarves and gnomes. Though he was no longer alone, his infinite heart yearned for a greater beauty. Thus he resumed his wandering. In the heart of the greatest forest, Kahl found a tree that stretched above the clouds. The sight of such majesty moved him, and invoked his anger against the creatures of earth, and he struck the tree. The tree split apart at his blow and revealed the noble elves, beautiful and wise. They worshipped Kahl, and he was pleased, and blessed them. They spread throughout the forests, and all was good for a time.
But Kahl soon grew weary of the listless patience of the dwarves and elves and gnomes. They were too cautious, and did not have the fire of desire that burned his infinite heart. Thus he resumed his wandering. As he wandered the vast plains, his weariness caused his footsteps grew careless, and he struck his mighty foot against a foothill. The hill split apart at his blow and revealed the brave halflings, eager and adventurous. They worshipped Kahl, and he was pleased, and blessed them. They spread throughout the plains and foothills, and all was good for a time.
But Kahl soon grew weary of the myriad imperfections of the races that inhabited the world. They were worthy to worship him and call him their deity, but he yearned for a champion - a race which he could bless above all others. He yearned for a race would spread throughout the entire world, carrying his name into in the mountains and forests and plains and dark depths. Yet his heart was not filled with anger, but desire, and he began to craft a new form of his own design.
Kahl traveled the world, searching for perfection. In fire he found burning desire. In stone he found resilience. In the trees of the forest he found the urge to grow and thrive. In the beasts of the wilderness he found strength. In the birds of the sky he found freedom. In the diamond heart of the earth he found order. In the bending grass of the plains he found flexibility. In misshapen monsters in the dark he found war. In the silence of intertwined roots he found peace. All these things and more Kahl took, and from them, he forged seven statues.
Kahl raised his hand once more, not in anger, but in love. He reached out to caress the statues, and they became the humans. Yet even his creation was flawed, for though five of the humans worshipped Kahl, two rejected him. Furious, yet unwilling to harm his creation, Kahl cast out his unworthy son and daughter. They wandered the earth as the Exiles, and found homes in the distant parts of the world. The other five worshipped Kahl, and he was pleased beyond measure, and blessed them above all others. They spread throughout the greatest part of the world, in all the forests and mountains and dark places, and all was good.