The Obligatory Beach Episode

Last week, the party returned to Kilrein, the capital of Kilvas. They went to see the king, Reletharian, who thanked them and gave them what reward he could, given that the country was still at war. He promised that once the island was safe again, the party would have a festival in their honor1. The party spoke with Winston, who was now an advisor to the king, and learned that no one had heard anything about the aftermath of the battle between the dragons and the Moravian Empire. Someone had been killing Galian scouting parties sent into the area. However, the Galian elite troops teleported into Kilvas were making headway against the bandits. Jed's whereabouts were unknown, but the evidence suggested that he was still waging a one-man war against every bandit he met.

Overall, the world was not precisely at peace, but there were no immediate crises to attend to. Additionally, the party had recently acquired a large amount of adamantine from their battle with Torvid, which would take about two weeks to craft into suitable armaments for the party2. They decided to spend that time in Kaliatori - starting with splitting up to go to the beach and a bar. While there, the beachgoing members of the party saved a man's dog from being kidnapped3 by mermen. Lorelei and Antimony did this by brutally and messily murdering the mermen, thereby ruining the beach for everyone else, but they did save the dog.

Meanwhile, Pabst tried to bring her pet dire lion into the bar, and was stopped by a surprisingly unfazed bouncer who wrestled the lion out the door. The bargoing members of the party struck up a conversation with the bouncer, who was named Wendel4. Charmed by his gruff, matter-of-fact demeanor, his story about a drunk Reggie, and his arm-wrestling abilities, they invited him to join them on their journey to Elysium, and he agreed.

After the bar, the party spent the rest of their time in Kaliatori killing time. Pabst had a run-in with an obnoxious kid at a zoo who was bothering the animals. He dealt with it in his usual straightforward fashion, which narrowly avoided resulting in a number of deaths, but ensured that the kid would be unlikely to ever mock animals in the zoo again5. Lord Khallus made an inspiring, convincing, motivating, powerful and all around stunning speech to the king about the Lord's right to half of the island of Kilvas, but despite his rhetorical skill, the king explained that he could not in fact simply give away half of the entire island. Despite that minor setback, Lord Khallus went on to found the Lord Khallus's Little Pebbles Orphanage Home, which will help get kids off the streets and into a safe place6. Most of the party greatly enjoyed a combination winery/brewery that kept them well supplied with finely crafted alcohol.

Eventually, their time in Kaliatori came to an end. Reggie parted ways with the party, saying he was needed to help defeat the rest of Torvid's army. The party prepared to sail off in the direction of Elysium, to find the Seed Crater and finally undo the curse on the Book of Creation.

Join us this week to travel beyond the Edge of the World!

  1. It would, of course, also be fish-themed.
  2. Or a week and a half if Lord Khallus gives the blacksmith a magic item so he doesn't need to sleep.
  3. And presumably messily devoured shortly thereafter.
  4. Not to be confused with Wendy, Wesley, Winsley, or anything else, you twerps.
  5. Or return to the zoo at all.
  6. Thereby doing more to make the world a better place than almost anything else the party has done.

Stupid Awards

Lorelei Antimony Wanderlost Lord Khallus Maxwell Mortin Pabst Lord Squeakers Wendel Everyone